Judge Not

Most judgement of others comes from lack of information. I’d like to share why I have ‘that kid’ at the grocery store.

Although my son just turned eight, he often sits in the shopping cart and…brace yourself for it…plays on his tablet. Yep, we do that. People stare, shoot me dirty looks and occasionally make comments. You too, may even have rolled your eyes. I get it.

Here’s the why. I don’t have a village raising my son. I have me. If we need food, then he has to come with me to the store to get it. He hates it! It’s a ‘have to,’ so not enjoyable for him.

We also have a limited budget, so I need to be able to concentrate on my list and get the things we came for without him being distracted and overstimulated by all that’s going on around him. When he gets anxious, I get anxious. If he is quiet and content doing his thing, then my mind is where it needs to be in that moment.

Finally, I feel it’s important to make healthy choices for what B and I eat. It’s much easier to do that when I’m the one making the choices. There is no, “I want that, I want this” happening. I ask for his input on flavors or have him pick out his breakfast cereals. He enjoys organizing the cart as I hand him things and he builds a fort around himself. He’s happy and I’m happy and we leave the store with healthy foods. This is a win in my book, regardless of what the other people at the store think.

9 comments

  1. mewhoami · May 16, 2016

    I was/am a single mother also. It’s certainly not easy, but doable. Good for your for standing up for yourself. No one can understand unless they’re in your shoes and therefore they shouldn’t judge. This is something that I constantly have to remind myself of as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Melissa · May 16, 2016

      Telling the story at least puts it out there so more people have a chance to understand even if they don’t agree. 🙂

      Like

      • mewhoami · May 16, 2016

        I completely agree and this will certainly make me reconsider my initial thought if I ever see a similar situation.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. tahenryauthoress · May 16, 2016

    I get so tired of people tearing parents down for doing things different. Perfect strangers seem to take my parenting choices as a criticism directed at them. Good for you for meeting both your needs in the way that you need.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Melissa · May 16, 2016

      Thanks. It is a quick judgement to assume it’s lazy parenting on my part. In some respects, I suppose it is. But it’s also all about finding balance. We do what we need to do for our families.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Alexsis · May 20, 2016

    This is so great. Thanks for writing this! And keep up the amazing work, mama!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. crazyjoyfulmama · June 22, 2016

    I don’t think it is lazy parenting. I don’t think it is anything, but everyone trying to find a way to get what they need done in the most enjoyable way as possible. Don’t we as adults try to find ways to make less enjoyable tasks more fun? Ever listen to music while cleaning?

    And really, who cares? The answer should be nobody. It really should not be important to anyone, but you and your son.

    Good post!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s