Being Strong

The past week has been a test of my strength. Many of them have been, actually. People tell me that I’m one of the strongest people they know.

First there was the five-day notice to vacate our home. That turned out to be a mistake on the leasing office’s part. They lost my rent check. The one I had enclosed in a card to explain why it wasn’t big enough.

shh

The picture shows how I also had to go about getting some coins on the sly, for a lost tooth. I do what I need to do. The teller at my credit union was amazing about it and even wrote a note back saying she chose nice shiny ones!

So the rent got paid in two chunks, we still have a place to live and I could breathe for a day or so. Then I got the news that one of my dear friends was hit by a car while riding his bike in New Orleans. Luckily he wasn’t killed. Unfortunately he has no insurance and has a very broken hip that had to be pieced back together. He’s out of the hospital and on the mend for at least the next ten weeks. Which means he can’t work. I started a GoFundMe for him. It’s all I can do from here, although it pains me to not be able to do more.

Yesterday was Vegan Fest here in town. I look forward to this every year and was excited to go. B wasn’t excited to go and when we got there he proceeded to scowl and make the brief time there as unenjoyable as possible. We left and went to run a couple more errands. I was very disappointed with how the whole thing went but tried to hold space for how he was feeling and why. I didn’t want to let it ruin our day. Well, my car took care of the ruining. The brake line failed, the brake pedal went squish to the floor and I got home as safely as I could.

Here’s the part no one knew until now. My being strong sometimes involves taking the time to myself to completely come unraveled. I went into the shower and stood there under the water and sobbed until I felt functional again. I let as much of the weight of the week as I could roll right down the drain. Then I got out, ate a popsicle and then lounged in bed for a good part of the evening, playing Clash Royale and texting friends.

There’s always more to the story, but they are mostly other people’s stories to tell. My heart is going out to a few people I care about right now because of their financial situations, health and relationship statuses. A lot of people I know are having a hard time and they’re getting through it too. That’s all that makes me strong, I guess. That I  do what I can for others when I can and I keep plugging along when life beats on me.

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22 thoughts on “Being Strong

  1. I feel for your sucky week. It’s been rough around here too. Sometimes I think, though, my kiddo makes me stronger. Because I can’t give way. I can’t give up. I can’t pretend I’m helpless and let someone else take care of things. And all this roughness the kiddo is experiencing in some portion as well. Thanks for the great reminder of that in this line: “I was very disappointed with how the whole thing went but tried to hold space for how he was feeling and why.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Two years ago, our lives changed dramatically due to a traumatic event our family experienced. But we made it through. The past couple of months have been especially trying. Everything culminated a week ago and … well, everything’s not all better by any means, but it’s certainly not as bad as I expected it to be. The next few months will be especially difficult to see if we can get to the light at the end of the tunnel. But I will not give up. Good luck to you and B.

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  3. Wow Melissa sounds like you had a tough time, I’m very sorry for the unfortunate events you just this week. I’m glad to hear your friend is recovering ok. Hopefully he is able to get the care and support he needs. Car issues stink! Honestly we need an ingnition cylinder repaired and we’re currently driving with a screwdriver in our ignition. Tough times but we get through them. It’s ok to sob in your shower, I have to admit I have done it too. Money stinks, that’s actually why we moved her to the mountains not that long ago. It was just to financially difficult for us to stay in orange county. But we are all blessed and we make the best with what we have. I’m so glad I found your blog and follow you on Instagram. You’re very inspirational and motivational. Stay strong and I hope things start looking up for you. PS you can always text me or message me when you need to vent:)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my! What a disappointing and troublesome week for you! My prayers are with you and your injured friend. Our Heavenly Father loves all of His children and is aware of each of our circumstances. May you feel his love for you. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What a rough week for you guys. I am sorry to hear about it. All I can say is that I can empathize with life hitting you while you are down and then crying until you can’t anymore. I hope you feel better and it all lets up soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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