Why Don’t You?

Two years ago, when I started my blog, I thought up a name for it that simply stated who I was and what I was doing. Seemed easy enough. It’s still true and it’s still the name I’m using.

Because I thought I had things to say and a unique perspective, I made social media pages to go along with it. Same name. Easy peasy.

I would’ve never guessed that something so simple would get some of the “attention” that it has. It’s become painfully obvious to me now that men (mostly) around the world type in single moms and go internet fishing. Some want sexual partners, some want wives, and some want an easy mark for their next scam.

I’ve shared screenshots of a few conversations on my social media sites. I try to make light of the ridiculousness that comes at me. Laughing about it seems healthier than getting hopping mad about it every time.

In my attempt to invite humor, I’ve found another interesting side effect. Repeatedly, I get asked (by well meaning people) to do something differently; change settings, change privacy, etc. This chaps my hide even more than the unwanted advances. Why? Have I done anything wrong? No. Am I just being myself on the internet? Yes. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THAT!

That’s the thing. It’s never appropriate to come at someone with requests for sexual gratification, pictures of your body parts they haven’t asked to see, or proposals of marriage. That is entirely on them! They own ALL of that behavior. I don’t.

This is what I’ve been raising my son to understand. It’s my own modern day Berenstain Bears lesson. “See what these men are doing? Don’t do that.”


You Are Fabulous

Dear checker, Thank you for boldly being your unique self. My son needs to see as many people like you as he can.

I chose your line on purpose. It wasn’t because you had less people waiting. It was because you were you. You were a handsome young man wearing a stunning amount of makeup.

See, I have a son who asked for 50 pounds of makeup for Christmas. He’s already bought some and hesitantly worn it at times. But I see his face light up as he strolls past the makeup section in the stores.

Society, in it’s subtle and not-so-subtle ways, tells him everyday that makeup isn’t for him. That he shouldn’t be colorful or sparkly or beautiful. But you were all of those things. So thank you and your glittering red eyeshadow.

I saw my son stare at you as I paid for items. Hopefully, you weren’t offended. He wasn’t being rude. He was studying you and taking in all that you embody for him.

When you wished us a fabulous day, you couldn’t have possibly known what you’d just done for making that a reality. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing my son to see one person who’s not letting anyone dull their sparkle. You showed one little boy that he too can be uniquely and unabashedly himself.